Wedding Planning Do’s and Don’ts

Just married bride raises her hand in celebration as the room applauds, framed by colourful floor aisle meadow flowers and candles

After nearly a decade of photographing weddings, I’ve had a lot of conversations with couples – before, during and after their wedding day. The same things come up again and again: what they’d do differently, what they wished they’d known, what genuinely didn’t matter as much as they thought it would.

Here are 16 of the most common ones.

If you’re right at the start and want a calmer “where do we even begin?” read, start here: Best Advice for Planning a Wedding.

16 of the biggest wedding planning do’s and don’ts for newly engaged couples

8 Wedding Planning Do’s

Set up a separate email address for all things wedding so your day-to-day inboxes don’t get filled with wedding correspondence.

Before you do ANYTHING, sit down together to prioritize the things that are most (and least) important to you, so that you can allocate budget and resources effectively.

Book an engagement shoot so that you and your partner feel more comfortable in front of the camera on the big day! Book an engagement shoot so you and your partner feel more comfortable in front of the camera on the big day, and so you get to spend an hour with your photographer before the wedding. It makes a difference.

Get personal recommendations before hiring any vendors/suppliers. Or check out their Google reviews.

Give yourself enough time! Make sure that from the time your reception starts, you have at least two hours before the guests are called for dinner. This gives you enough time for photos and to mingle with your guests while also enjoying the canapés.

Do keep a detailed checklist or wedding planning binder. Staying organized will save you from a lot of stress later on, especially when confirming details with vendors or tracking RSVPs.

Do consider the guest experience from start to finish. From comfortable seating to sufficient entertainment, make sure your guests feel taken care of.

Do ask for help when you need it. Whether it’s from family, friends, or a professional wedding planner, don’t try to do everything on your own.

8 Wedding Planning Don’ts

Don’t invite people because you feel that you “should”. You will NOT speak to them a few years from now.

Don’t over-order cake “just because you should”. If cake matters to you, go for it properly — but if it doesn’t, consider a smaller show cake plus sheet cake in the kitchen, or something you know your guests will actually demolish.

Don’t scrimp on your photographer. After the cake has been eaten, the flowers have died, and the guests have gone home, the photographs will remain to preserve those memories. A great photographer can make all of those details from your special day look even more beautiful than they were in the moment. → How to choose your wedding photographer – 7 tips

Don’t forget to involve your partner! Even if one of you is more organised than the other, make sure you share the planning duties with lots of communication and a spreadsheet you both have access to. This will keep things as stress-free as possible.

Don’t sweat the small stuff and neglect what matters. Besides the two of you and the people you love most in the world, the only things that really matter are the food, drink, and music. I promise you that your guests will NOT be focusing on the wedding favours!

Don’t be afraid to break traditions. It’s your day! If traditional aspects don’t feel right to you, create new ones that better represent your union.

Don’t let others dictate your choices. It’s okay to listen to suggestions, but ultimately, the decisions should be yours and your partner’s.

Don’t forget to check your vendor contracts thoroughly before signing. Know exactly what’s included and what might be extra to avoid unexpected costs.

Bonus tip!

Don’t forget to sit back and take it all in. And if possible, organise quiet meet-ups with your other half to take in the day. It goes by so quickly! You can read more about why I think time is so important on your wedding day here.

→ 12 jobs to delegate on your wedding day

→ Tips for perfect confetti photos

→ Do you need group photos at your wedding?

Wedding breakfast entrance at Walcot Hall - guests cheers and wave napkins under the crystal chandeliers in the teal dining room

Wedding planning do’s & don’ts: FAQs

When should we start wedding planning after getting engaged?

Whenever you’ve stopped staring at the ring every five minutes. If you’re aiming for peak choice (venues and photographers), start enquiring sooner rather than later – even if you’re still figuring out the vibe.

What are the first 3 things we should do?

Pick a rough budget range. 2) Decide your “non-negotiables”. 3) Start with venue and photographer – they shape everything else.

How do we choose what to spend money on?

Spend where you’ll feel it on the day (food, drink, music) and where you’ll keep it afterwards (photos / film). Save on the bits that don’t matter to you personally.

We’re already overwhelmed – what helps most?

A shortlist. One email address. And a “we decide together” rule. Also: give yourselves a couple of no-wedding-talk evenings each week. Your relationship deserves that.

Is a wedding planner worth it?

If you want a calmer planning process and someone else to deal with logistics and supplier wrangling, yes – especially if you’re busy, planning from afar, or doing something non-traditional.

What do couples most often say they’d do differently?

They’d build in more breathing room. Less rushing, more time with guests, more time together… and usually, more faith that it doesn’t have to be perfect to be brilliant.